My life has been full of clutter for years. Some years I live well with the clutter, and some years it is a cause of a lot of anxiety. This clutter is really a good representation of how my attitude is at the time.
This last year I have had a bad attitude. The Carolina's was not the picture perfect place that I had in my mind. I struggled with different culture as well as feeling like a total fish out of water. B/c of that, things around me suffered. I'm so thrilled to report that the fog has lifted and joy has entered. I love that friends and even my husband have commented on the place I am in. I feel better. Even through the two weeks of sick kids and feeling trapped....I still had hope in my darker moments. My cup is half full and I love it!
This last summer I was back in Illinois and I had lunch with a group of friends. We got on the topic of blogs and talked about people who have blogs and are over the top in love with the Lord, their husbands, and their life. I asked the question, "Are they for real?" I mean, can a person really be THAT in love with their husband? Can they really be THAT head over heals for Jesus? Don't their kids get on their nerves...how can they be THAT happy? One of my friends said they didn't think it was for real.
It was an image. I didn't know....but I thought she was probably right.
Little did I know that I would soon be spending some important time with Jesus and I would have the answer smack me in the face. And sure enough.....IT'S TRUE! They are for real! And it feels sooooo good! My heart is overwhelmed with a feeling I can't describe. I have bad moments but there is a umbrella of joy and satisfaction over me that wins over. My husband ROCKS and my children are gifts that I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to care for. (Even my son who is so deep in the terrible two's that I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes.) And finally I have come to the place that I have handed my worries and anxieties up to Him. And let me tell you, what a relief that has been.
Okay, so I am fully aware that there are going to be several readers that roll their eyes and think I'm just like the others....trying to put out an image. That is okay. I just had to share the Good News!
I'm clearing the clutter!
1 comment:
I think you CAN be all of those things. I think you can love your life, the lord, your husband etc and want to share that joy with everyone. I have had some amazing honest coversations with "those bloggers who are devoted and put it out there" and they are people I wish I could be more like. We all have time where we aren't at our greatest and I know for me those usually aren't the days I sit down to "blog". Blog world usually gets my better pieces and I don't see anything wrong with that! I LOVE my soon to be husband and ADORE my kids...and yep, they still can send me into frustration quicker than anyone..but that doesn't change that I know I am blessed to have the life I do and the people in it! I am SOOO glad you have found your place of balance!!!
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